Characteristics and qualities to look for in a funeral director

Photo courtesy of Minnesota Funeral Photography

Unless you have an existing relationship with a funeral director, it’s unlikely you know much about them before you start planning arrangements. And when the time comes, it can feel uncomfortable, even surreal to sit across the table from a stranger who’s responsible for guiding you through such a deeply personal and emotional experience. That’s why we recommend you do your research and meet with a handful of funeral directors before deciding upon the funeral home you’ll employ.

Ask anyone in the funeral industry, and they’ll agree that a funeral director’s total years of experience doesn’t necessarily make them great at what they do. So what exactly does make one funeral director better than the next? A good funeral director will ensure you’re well-informed, well-cared for, and take all the time needed to help you fully understand how each of your decisions might impact your ability to move forward in grief, not just tomorrow, but for years to come. 

Maybe you’ve already had a superb experience with a funeral home, or you’ve done your research and found the right funeral home for you or your loved one. However, if you’ve just begun searching or you’re not totally confident in the professionals you’ve met with so far, here’s what to look for in a compassionate and capable funeral director.

A good funeral director will follow your lead. Whether you want to act swiftly or take your time, you should never feel rushed. Planning funeral arrangements can feel like a blur. While funeral directors handle these arrangements every day, for most people, it’s an unfamiliar and overwhelming experience. Some families may want a funeral or memorial celebration to take place within a week or two following their loved one’s death while others may need more time to process what has happened and thoughtfully plan a meaningful farewell. Wherever you are on that spectrum, a good funeral director lets you set the pace.

A good funeral director will be transparent about your chosen method of disposition, what the process entails, and how it impacts the environment. With the right information, you can make sustainable choices that honor your loved one and the planet. If environmental impact is a concern for you, a good funeral director will support you in making an informed decision.

A good funeral director will clearly communicate exactly what will happen in the first few hours and few days following the death of someone you love. They’ll let you know where and how your person is being cared for, and who is looking after them. At SendOff, we aim to reduce fear and uncertainty pertaining to the care of your special person’s body by communicating every next step with compassion and transparency.

A good funeral director will offer you personalized choices, not sell you products or services that you don't want or need. As you plan arrangements, remember that you’re in control. Nearly all decisions pertaining to disposition and the memorial celebration — from the casket or urn you choose to the venue hosting the farewell gathering — can be personalized to align with what matters most to you. SendOff staff put time, energy, and commitment into personalizing even the smallest details. No question or idea should be considered too much!

A good funeral director takes a fresh, open approach to the planning process. There’s no value in sticking to rigid and outdated traditions. To put it simply, we’re not here to check boxes. At SendOff, we believe it’s crucial to listen — really listen — to the wants and needs of each individual or family. Our role in the planning process is to be supportive, not directive. We facilitate meaningful conversations that bring forth insights into what’s most important to you.

A good funeral director values continuity of care. SendOff is unlike other funeral providers for many reasons, one of them being our emphasis on providing continuity in care. In other words, we believe the best funeral directors not only help personalize thoughtful arrangements, but they’re also the person responsible for the caring of your loved one’s body, and they’re there for you on the day of the funeral or memorial celebration. With SendOff, you have one main point of contact, from beginning to end.

Most funeral homes operate a bit differently. They employ funeral planners, funeral coordinators, and funeral directors, each having a different responsibility. While a one-to-one relationship may not be a priority for everyone, it’s ok for you to set this expectation for your chosen funeral home if continuity of care is important to you. 

Let’s plan something extraordinary.

Organizing funeral arrangements can be incredibly difficult. It can also be a profoundly healing experience in that it allows you to demonstrate how much you loved and cared for someone who has died. A good funeral director knows how transformative a shared experience can be and will create an environment in which you’re empowered to plan something so beautifully personal and so perfectly fitting to the life being celebrated.

Questions?

You can always reach out to our team of experts for advice or to schedule time to meet with our funeral professionals. No question is too small or too unusual. If it matters to you, it matters to us too.