Healing in Practice: 6 Personal Grief Rituals

As spring turns to summer, social media feeds fill with cap-and-gown photos, school

gymnasiums echo with applause, and families gather to celebrate hard-earned diplomas. Graduation season is a time of joy, pride, and ritual. From walking across a stage to tossing a mortarboard into the air, these ceremonial acts help mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Rituals like these give structure to transition. They help us navigate change. And while graduations are among the more joyful rites of passage, the same need for meaning and structure is present in life’s most difficult transitions, too.

Research by Sas and Coman (2016) identifies three types of grief rituals. Honoring rituals “celebrate the bond and honor that relationship.” Letting go rituals intend to release the negative emotions connected with the loss, and rituals of self-transformation involve reflection on the past and present as well as planning for the future. The research points to a growing trend: a shift from traditional practices to more creative and even playful expressions of grief.

With that in mind, here are 6 rituals to consider as you process your grief.

1) Write a Letter

In her new memoir Love, Helen: Letters to My Mother, author Helen Fernald processes her grief through the ritual of writing letters.

Fernald says, “Writing these letters opened my heart to healing.” Initially private, the letters helped the author reconnect with her mother, even eight years after her death.

Writing a letter to a deceased loved one can become a powerful ritual to walk through emotions, share hopes and regrets, and let go of some of the pain experienced through loss. These letters don’t have to be perfectly executed or polished. Instead, use the opportunity to express everything you wish you could say to the person you are missing.

Grief letters can be written at one time, or they can become a routine ritual. Perhaps another letter can be written on important milestones — birthdays, anniversaries, and favorite holidays. Of course, this process isn’t easy, and it may take time. All healing does. After writing, the letters can be saved or destroyed, whatever feels more healing for you.

2) Create a Memory Box

If you save grief letters, you could add them to a memory box with other important mementoes gathered to remember your loved one.

You might include items holding emotional significance — wedding rings, special gifts, ticket stubs, or pieces of clothing. Research supports collecting these symbolic objects as a way to “validate the relationship of the bereaved to the deceased” and “encourage feeling and expression of emotion.” Gathering the items and choosing a special place to store them becomes an important component of this grief ritual, and revisiting the objects over time provides an opportunity to process the loss.

3) Cook a Favorite Meal

Food always brings people together, so sharing a meal can be a powerful collective grief ritual.

Perhaps you will choose to cook your loved one’s favorite meal and invite over friends and family to dine together. Whether it’s spaghetti and meatballs, grilled steak, or a spicy curry, take time to prepare the meal with care and share stories of your loved one.. You might also host a gathering and ask everyone to bring food that reminds them of the loved one you are grieving.

Raise a toast, tell stories, and use the table as a setting for your ritualized grief.

4) Volunteer Together

Another collective grief ritual is volunteering together in a place that honors your loved one.

If your dad loved caring for animals, sign up for a shift at your local humane society. If your aunt was always caring for the downtrodden in the community, find a food pantry looking for volunteers. Then gather your friends and family and pay tribute by volunteering your time and energy to an important cause. It’s a meaningful way to give back to the community while honoring someone you love.

5) Find Daily Acknowledgements

While many grief rituals happen just once or only on special occasions, other rituals can happen daily as a small acknowledgment of your loved one and your grief.

Whether it’s lighting a candle, practicing meditation, listening to a favorite song, or wearing a special piece of jewelry, these daily, personalized rituals are important ways to honor your loved one while also fostering a sense of healing. Incorporating these routines into your busy life allows you to intentionally carve out time to pause and remember your connection with your loved one in a manageable way.

6) Plant a Tree

Nature provides a beautiful, peaceful way to ritualize grief. Some honor their loved ones by visiting a favorite outdoor space on special occasions. Others plant something that will grow and change over time, like a tree or a favorite flower, as a tribute to their friend or family member. As the seasons shift, nature-based rituals can become a living symbol of how our grief evolves over time.

SendOff is proud to partner with Better Place Forests to host a nature ritual, Ashes Among the Oaks, on May 31, 2025. This event offers a heartfelt opportunity to remember your loved one through a guided ceremony of reflection and renewal, held deep within the forest.

During the event, family will be gently supported in placing ashes on the forest floor, nestled beneath the sheltering branches of majestic oaks. This poignant ritual allows for a return to the earth, and the space remains open for future visits, offering a lasting place to honor and reconnect with your loved one.

Just as walking across a stage or tossing a cap into the air helps mark the end of one chapter and the start of another, grief rituals help us move through the painful transitions in life with intention and meaning. Whether you’re saying goodbye or celebrating a beginning, ritual gives us something to hold onto in moments of change.